What I am getting for Christmas.. I asked Santa mainly for a new phone. I've been using my boyfriends phone and I hate it. I know Santa already brought it. My Santa told me the other kid in the house got the phone she wanted. And duh you have to do the same for one as you would the other. and then the other night i came up behind her on her laptop while she was in the process of buying a phone cover for the kind of phone i wanted haha. I know i got some rain guards for my car too. Those are really the only things i asked for. They in this big long box and my step dad bought them so its basically a given. I thought it was really important that my mom had a good Christmas so I bought her a bunch of stuff. Then her husband bought her just as much if not more than I did and got her a recliner so Im excited she will not be expecting so much. And of course the pretty little puppy has a stocking. itll have to full of treats because she eats toys and then we have to spend 200 dollars at the vet.. Thats Christmas presents in a wrap.

Wal-Mart

Wal-Marts open on Christmas Eve. Thats bad enough considering I work there. But this year we have extended hours. Were open til 8!!! That means we cannot leave until all the customers are out. And we cant even lock the doors until 8 exactly. We cant make them leave either. So ill be at walmart all day on Christmas Eve bc walmart is greedy and it makes me furious. It takes away from family time. Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. i hate to think that people are out working all day. but its not a suprise seeing how money seems to be the biggest matter of the world today. to make it all better the customers will be hateful just bc they can.

Something someone told me really bothered me. I was at work when this older gay man was talking to me about a manager he didnt like very well. He came out of the blue and told me he was HIV positive and that the manager didnt give him his promised position after he informed her that he was infected. After that I was just like WOW I wish he hadnt told me that. It was brought to my attention how common HIV/AIds is becomming. And how easily its passed without even being aware. Its really scarey and its unfortunate. I dont belive it just happens to promiscuous people or gay guys. I belive its comming rather common because people are gross. And some just come in contact unfortunately. I wish people would think before they act. From doing one thing they could catch something that will haunt them their whole lives and complicate it all.

Ah Rain! It can be very relxing. The idea of curling up at home and watching TV sounds great. But I dont ever have time for that. Its idylic but not going to happen. On rainy days, I usually have alot to do and theres the rain that just gets in the way of everything. Or when I actually straighten my hair. it rains and all my hard work is gone. Rainy days are nice when im tired. Otherwise, then its kind of depressing. It makes me think too much about things. I dont like to be alone on those days unless im tired like i said. and my dog wont go outside when its raining bc shes a princess and princesses cant get wet. I like it to poor at bedtime. or just any time i have to sleep. it is gauranteed that i will fall asleep its like spa quality stuff that rain!

Rude people. There's way too many of them. They must really hate their lives or being going through a rough time or atleast I think so. Or maybe it's just their nature. But it's really uncalled for either way. I dont like being rude but thats just me. I think some people get their joy from treating others that way. I have a pretty rude college teacher. And I'm not calling her a professor because that's giving her way too mch credit. Anyways, we ask simple questions pertaining to the subject we are on or we ask about a homework assignment and she always pops off with some rude answer. At work is where I tend to see most rude people. The public is just horrible. People will walk right into me and never say sorry. When I'm waiting on them at work i greet them and say hey how are you and they cant even respond to that? I mean come on people! I guess people are just brought up differently and I dont agree with their ways. The way you treat people is important. Theres people out there who dont want to be seen as a nice person and many of them. I think they have issues going on in their head. And I hate going to restaurants when servers and stuff are rude. If your going to act like that then stay home

This is about my little angel Ruby. She's really a devil dog but anyways.. My poor little Yorkie got really sick on me Wednesday night. She kept coughing for about an hour. So I finally got up to noticed she puked all over my bed as well as under my bed. So i thought she was done. In the middle of the night i was washing sheets and scrubbing my mattress and crawling under the bed. I walked in the living room to check on her because she was still dry heaving and acting like she was going to die. She puked all over in the living room and under the couch. she would just run over to me nervous as can be and just stay right there scared to death. I was too. So Thursday came and she was fine. Then Friday right before I had to go to work she got really sick again. So I took her to the vet. She ate a bunch of polyester from my bedding and couldnt digest it. It's been a week and she got sick again last night. I was glad after I seen she got some of that polyester up. Maybe thatll be the last time.. i'm hoping and praying.

"blessed are those who can give without remembering.." That little quote is about people who give you things and don't keep reminding you of what they have given or done for you. It's like my mommy. she gives me alot from money to life skills. and she has never once said ok ashley you owe me for this. It would be like me and my boyfriedn going out to eat and the next time him being like ok its your turn you owe me. It shows a lot of responsibility when people are like that. I can't honestly say I'm able to do that just yet. I am getting better tho :)

"We do not simply live our live for ourselves, but for those who came before and will come after us." That quote makes a lot of sense to me. I live for my parents and my family. That would be talking about the ones who come before us. I know that i try to do well to make my family proud of me and to help them in any way. The real reason i want to go to college is to prepare for my future which I hope does include kids. Kids are the after us part. I know that most of my hard work in school and college is so that I can have a successful career and provide for my family. Some times it seems like we do everything for ourselves but when you look further into things the cloudy is now clear.

oooh I love scary movies! I like the ones that deal with like demons and devilish things. I'll watch the movies like Halloween and those type movies. Some of them are pretty good. But i really like the movies like Amityville horror. Whew and the exorcist... That movie scarred me for life. It made me realize the devil was real and everyone was going to die. I dont know how but it did. I like to know that scary movies are actually based on true stories. It makes you worry that it could happen to you. I can't watch them at home alone though. Then, I'll freak out like a kid.

I had many fears as a kid. But the one that is most vivid to me now was the fear of vampires. I had an older sister and an older cousin. We would go over to my cousins house and he would put in movie after movie.. all about vampires. He and my sister just thought it was hilarious to spook me and my younger cousin. I would go home and couldn't sleep. I would try to go to sleep while my parents were still up becuase the vampires couldnt get me then. One night I had a horrible vampire nightmare. I remember waking up and thinking they were every where- the empty bunkbed on top of me, under my bed, in the hallway. In my mind, they were just everywhere about to attack me. So, I tried not breathing for a while. I didn't want them to hear me. I held my breathe as long as I could and then I let out the loudest scream to get my parents awake. After dark was always scary because thats when they all came out to play..

A lot of teenagers I know do drugs and never think anything of it. This past weekend a student from Daviess County died due to drug overdose of morphine. He was only 16. I find this very upsetting. I didn't really know him too well. Of course, I had seen him at some parties. I had been to his house several times with a friend of mine to see his sister. I never liked him but I'm not saying he deserved that. He was a big time "partier" and he thought he was in a gang. I know that his mom was aware of everything he was doing as well as his sister. He had already been high that night when he decided to eat the gel inside of a morphine patch. I didn't even know those existed... Anyways, his mom works over night or something. She got to come home that morning and find her 16 year old son dead. I can't even imagine that and I'm not a mother. His friends that were with him that night said that they didnt know anything about the morphine and only some girl did. She left him at home alone and didnt tell anybody what he had. They all knew he was high already. I'm just curious what made him want that much more of a high. Some stupid girl came up with a nasty rumor yesterday. It almost made me mad. Let the guy rest in peace. I'll go ahead and tell you the rumor. Appparently his gf gave him herpes and it was a sucicide. And the girl woke up in the night and told everyone he was really cold and thats how they found out he was dead. It looks like to me if she had gave him something he would have been mad at her and she wouldnt have been there. But idk. I'm not believing that bc kids are ridiculous. I heard about it from his bestfriend and his sisters bestfriend the first story that everyone else has heard too.

I movewed here from a little town. That little town was extremely religous. So I had always grew up in church and so did my friends. i was always very involved with going and participating in church activities. So then I moved here. And its not so much religous. I mean they sell alcohol here, they definately didnt where I'm from. It upsets me bc alot of kids ive talked to here dont believe in God. That just blew my mind. And then theres the different religions. My boyfriends catholic and im baptist so I ask alot of questions and i dont think their church makes sense but of course i would never say anything like that out of respect. At least they believe in something and have some kind of faith. Religion is a very important to me. Church is like a big family and a lot of people here are missing out on that.

Why do you shop? i know sometimes people shop simply bc they need new clothes. But for me its more like if im having a bad day, I can shop and its all better. I never thought it'd be so relieving to shop. I remember once when my boyfriend and I broke up I was very upset. So, I went shopping. Unfortunately, I stayed upset for a while. And guess what? i kept shopping. sure i had plenty of new clothes and all those good things, but after a week or two there had went nearly 400$. Its definately one of my stress relievers. Of course, not when I check my checking account :) I always go shopping by myself and of course I have to eat lunch. I love food too. While I'm shopping, I do not think outside the box which is great for this crazy little mind of mine! I'm definately hoping nothing bad happens to spark another shopping spree but I'm ready to have a day out with me.

Driving

There's way too many people driving, who don't know how to drive. It's very annoying and thats why theres all of these accidents. I dont even like parking my car beside other cars bc im affraid someone will back into it or something. I really hate it when people ride right up on me. I slam on my brakes every time. Yep, it'd be their fault if they hit me. I absolutely cannot stand it. I even get mad when im at a red light or something and cars get like 1 inch away from my car. My boyfriend is one of those lovely people who get right up on cars. I've never used my brake from the passenger side but i find myself trying to slam it on almost every time I go out with him. I really hate those people who are in such big hurries they drive really dumb and like swirve over in front of you when they dont have enough rough causing you to slam on your brakes and possibly get rear-ended. These things cause accidents to happen. I guess nobody thinks about that. Theyre just in a hurry inching up every little bit they can.

Fall

i just love fall. I'm hot blooded so its a time i can wear a tshirt and some jeans and be comfortable outside. I love all the fall colors. It reminds me of all the leaves changing colors. The fall candles and scents are amazing too! All of the pumpkin pie and cinnamon scents bring in the fall. I find it very comfy. It reminds me of family time too. Because of Thanksgiving :) and theres more pumpkin pie haha.. i kind of love it. And its time to start getting ready for Christmas! Also i love going out to my car and not sweating. I get upset when i get hot im weird. i guess i have a lot of good fall memories that certain colors and scents bring back. its nice to look back. and of course i cant forget about my wonderful birthday in october. its peaceful outside when the wind is blowing and the leaves are flying and you can bundle up in a hoodie. oh and leave piles! i dont do them anymore but when i was younger we made huge leave piles and jump into them for hours. it really wasnt even that soft but it was fun. im anxious for it to be like 60-70 degress outside.

So Excited!

For fall break i had big plans on going back home to tennessee and visiting. but then i started taking those college classes and i have fall break one week here and the next there.. So there goes my plans. I really wanted to go down there and hangout at school where i could see everyone. But anyways this Christmas I will be going down there. Christmas up here with no family is pretty horrible. I can't wait to see everyone and Christmas is the perfect time bc all my family will be together. It's so "homey" there. And my dad pretty much pays for my trip. Hopefully theres no snow along the way. I don't want to wait but I know I'll have to. So when I get there, I'll be good and ready to stay for 4 or 5 days. I love my family and my friends. It's a comforting feeling as soon as I get into town.

I have a cute baby neice and a dumb sister who had her. Me and my sister, Nikki, were bestfriends growing up. I moved away and then came back. My mom had been telling me about her awful bf. I didnt see what danger a boy could do besides pregnancy and STDs. Well, anyways I came back and she didnt live at home. That was so weird! she pretty much stopped caring about her family and focused on her bf their drugs and parties. It was all well for her until she got pregnant. they lived in a horrible horrible place where they smoked crack and she moved somewhere cleaner for the baby. Her bf cusses my mom out all the time and has even tried to hit her. Yep he's hit my sister too. Yep, we called the cops. Yep, her smart butt dropped all the charges bc shes so smart. and she keeps the baby away from my dear mommy and it upsets her. Basically, i feel so sorry for the child. She's not going to be raised by people with any morals and her parents have absolutely no money to provide her with anything. And my sisters dumb for doing that to herself but more importantly that baby.

Wal-Mart! Everyone loves Wal-Mart, right? yeah, well not me. I use to love going shopping with my parents and killing a couple of hours. But then i got a job there.. I always wanted to work there so it was just a dream come true. over a year later, I hate it! I need stuff and half the time do without it bc i dont want to spend any time i n there that isnt necessary. customers are the worst theyre so demanding and rude. they make me mad everyday. i dont get paid enough to put up with their attitudes. And the co-workers.. hm. Some are okay. The managers are just cheezy like hey lets act like we love our job and were a happy family. I hate being a cashier bc your watched 24/7 and you have customers just starring at you. i must do something amazing the way they stare. and 2 cents could make a world of a difference to some customers theyre pretty ridiculous. I decided Wal-Marts the worst store in the world. its rules and policies rules and policies..

Moving

Since I was in like 4th or 5th grade, I've been moving back and forth from my moms to my dads. It wasnt ever really a big deal bc they onlylived about 15 mins away, though i did have to change schools. But then it really changed one day. My mom met somebody and announced we'd be moving in 2 weeks. It was across town but across state, away from everything we had ever known. I left my family,my dad, friends, and my life as i knew it. we moved to ohio county. it was way different. it wasnt real big until i went to school and i was blown away and scared to death. I never noticed how many friends I had back home. I moved back to Tennessee and lived with my dad and later on my aunt when our house burnt down. That lasted a while. I started high school and absolutely loved that! I cheered, as i always did there. i had all my friends and family but after a while there was just something missing i could not live without and that was my mom. I moved back in with her and now she was living in Owensboro. I was like whoa! this place is huge! I left my family and friends and the most amazing high school ever! my years there were awesome. I have NONONO family here, so thats a big bummer.. I dont have 1 girlfriend. I'm unhappt at school bc i know how good it can be. i like comming from a small place where everyone knows everybody. Icant just start all over my junior year. i had friends that i was kin to and most of them i had known since kindegarten so definately the good kinds of friendships.This year,SENIOR YEAR, has been ecspecially hard. I keep thinking I should be down there with my friends bc we will never all be together again after this year. but i just cant move back down there. i have a lot going for me here and if its right that i go down there God will make a way. But I'm happy thats whats keeping me up here :)

College

I've always known I wanted to go to college. Basically, to be financially stable. There's plenty of other things for me to worry about when i get older so the way I see it money could be one less. I've changed my mind many times. I'm 100% sure I'll go into medical. Right now, I'm taking nursing classes but the more and more I go, I'm not so sure thats the right career for me. I'll probably go to a community college bc i am not ready to move again! So I guess ill see if i get accepted into the nursing program and if i do I'll just keep going with that unless i find another job of more interest to me. The way the economy is and stuff its important to think about how high of a demand there will be for a job in the next years to come. I just want to be able to have a big family, a job I like, and I think college is the first place to start.

Mommy and Me

My mom has to be my best friend. I have moved alot and thats made it about impossible to keep friends. My mom has always been there and she will always be. Even when i move away from her, she's still my bestfriend. When, I lived in Tennessee I called her every night and just when things popped up. My car broke down once and instead of calling my dad or somebody in town I called my mom who was 5 hours away. She laughed at me because I ran out of gas but thats another story.. I know that sometimes I dont treat her the way i should and I feel terrible about that. She has done more for me than anyone has ever done. She hates this little dog of mine so does the rest of my family, but she will not get rid of her bc of me :) it's cute. It makes me sad now that I'm growing up and I have a job and I go out and do my own thing now. Our schedules just never seem to work out right and I never get to go out and eat with her or go shopping like we use to. We still have big long talks that make me feel all better. in a way, she's kind of like my doctor!

What doesn't Kill you Can only Make you Stronger

My mommy always told me what doesnt kill you can only make you stronger. So, the way I see it when i get all grown up I'll be one heck of a lady! life throws many obstacles at you. Most of the time for me, theyre usually a pretty big deal. I've been through a lot in life from moving, to my parents divorce, and just getting along in life, and ive learned many lessons along the way. At the moment, it feels like you cant do ir or just cant take something any longer. But then in the end I'm always like im glad that happened. If i hadn't gone through the things I have I would still be clueless about alot of things in the world.

I have the cutest little yorkie in the world! Her name is Ruby and everyone who knows me well knows about my dog. I wasn't allowed to have a dog so my mom lied to her husband and said she wanted a dog and, of course, he allowed it. She loves to go "bye-bye" and take car rides. she watches me get dressed and about attacks me when i head for the door.. It makes me sad when I cant take her:( Its funny taking her to public places, like parks, because she acts like she's going to eat everyone. She sleeps with me every night and I never get to sleep in, even when I'm out of school and off work because she has to go outside. We dress her up for Halloween and she has her little Christmas dress. She has her own pj's too! She doesn't like yelling so she barks at whoever may be shouting and runs to me :) She knows what " get em" means and she just goes crazy whether somethings there or not. So, that's my sweet little baby Ruby!

So, This is mine. It's going to be all about me. I don't really want to go to my classes at OCC today. Blah..

who knows

am i suppose to do this?